Real Birthday Reflections

It's an exciting day, just the fact that it's my birthday. Some years I just don't care, but this year I felt excited and rejuvenated by the thought that I came into being on this day. Maybe it's just my happy mood because all three of my older kids are out all day for the first time ever. It leaves me room to think and be.

My first order of business is something I need to work on. We can call it a birthday hachlata if we must. It is incredibly hard though. Do not let Penina's sleep set the tone of my day. I would think it's pretty hard to "--wake up one morning after having gotten woken up a few times in the night, rocked and sang the baby back to bed and then woke up for the day at 5am, and dealt with a cranky baby together with normal morning children who have many needs" and have the same happy, cheerful day as a night like this: Put the kids to bed. Silence. Silence. Everyone sleeps. No one wakes up before 6am. I wake up on my own and find the house silent and everyone still sleeps. (I know my sentence structure could use some help, but there is no other way to express myself, I'm sure of it.)

Being the same cheerful happy person after both of those nights, in my book is utterly IMPOSSIBLE. If you can do it, let me know. At least I made myself conscious of it, and that's the first step.

As a birthday present, I am going to think of THE BEST ADVICE LINES that I have ever gotten and share them with you. You know, once in awhile, someone will just say something small in passing - but it is so monumental to that person personally, that without realizing it, they live their lives differently. Every person takes different ideas to reshape their thoughts, here are some of mine. Please think about it and Email me some of your's and I will share them with my blog world if I may.

"LET GO OF THE GUILT". Once in my adult years, I tried therapy. I hated it. The therapist was way too happy for me. She smiled too much. She also was Asian and totally did not get my life at all. She was shell-shocked by most of what I told her. But she did tell me this, Let Go of the Guilt. To this day, I just love that advice. So many moms say, "But I feel bad..." or after the fact they regret or feel guilty... it just works so well to let go of it all. I did it, it's done, NEXT. I may try to  change the way I do it next time, but I will NOT feel guilty for what I just told my kid/ or did or whatever. Because then we just get lost in it and can't move on.

"I MARRIED THIS PERSON AND WHATEVER NEGATIVE QUALITIES I SEE, I NEED TO GET OVER BECAUSE  I AM MARRIED TO THIS PERSON FOREVER." This was told to me by my very own husband. I don't know when or where but once he told me that he thought of this when seeing a negative thing in me early on in our marriage. Do you know --- to this day I stop and think about this often. What was it? What did he need to get over?!! Haha!! When I ask him, he doesn't remember. Riiight. But it is great advice. Why get annoyed when you see that extra long hair coming out of that birthmark? (Just an example, not a real-life one!) It will always be there and you will always have to see it, so move on.

"MY JOB IS TO CREATE A POSITIVE MARRIAGE FROM MY END." I blogged about this one and I made it up! Go me. I love this and it comes up sometimes when I want to get annoyed over something. I stop, breathe and remember that my job is me, not him.

I can't think of any more at the moment, but I am sure there are more. Be aware of them and let me know of your favorite advice lines!

And now for the best part, what I miss and don't miss about Seattle.

What I miss:
My friends. Today was my birthday and as I walked home by myself after taking the kids to camp, I thought about if I had even wanted to make a Game Night (which is what I did in the past few birthdays), who would I even invite here? These are just not Game Night people. I miss you guys!

I miss the moms coming outside with the kids in Seattle. The kids hang out a lot here, but the moms are always inside, making dinner or whatever it is that moms do.

Well. Can't think of anything else I miss. I think I'm gonna like it here!

What I don't miss:
The up and down weather. When it's hot here, it's hot. For awhile. Much easier to pick out clothes that way!

My squooshy house. BH I am done with that one, at least for awhile.

My husband being away overnight. Often.

The carpools and the driving everywhere. I took my kids to the library the other day, we walked! We walk to school, to shul, to Bnos groups and camp. They are all in the same building! Next door I have the shaitel lady, the babysitter, the children's clothes Gmach and the mikvah lady. Right next door! I will now publicly thank Hashem for this move to Rhode Island, with all its conveniences. And my parents and sister's family are coming for Shabbos, G-d willing. When's the last time we got to have that?! Boruch Hashem.